"The crumbs from Your table"

Last night, Mike and I were confirmed in the Church of England. I'm still trying to think through all that that might mean, but mostly we decided that it was a pragmatic decision, given our involvement at St. Aldate's, so that we can help out with things like serving communion, and the fact that we're leading a group there. Also, if Mike does decide to pursue ordination, this would be a required step. So... there we were, kneeling before a bishop whose theology I don't fully agree with, but who is, by all accounts, a 'good man.' I had to call to mind Augustine's arguments against the Donatists to remind myself that the Bishop's theology didn't have anything to do with the efficacy of the act of confirmation or communion for that matter (which he, of course, presided at that evening).

Some of us confirmands were called upon ahead of time to prepare a short testimony of how we came to faith and why we were being confirmed. I was one of them. Immediately after me, a young woman spoke with an incredibly moving testimony, involving her struggle with an immune disorder that meant she missed ten years of school; how with just a few GCSE's she managed to get a place at Oxford (normally, she would have needed three strong A-level exams.... sort of very vaguely like the difference between Achievement tests (SAT-2s) and AP tests...). Then last year her beloved dad died and she went through a dark night of the soul. She spoke beautifully (well, she is studying English literature!) and deeply of how Jesus came into that darkness. I was relieved that she spoke after me, because I don't think I could have physically spoken. Plus, I have to admit, I would have felt foolish with my not nearly as deep story....

Later, during the communion, I noticed that as she received the wine from our rector, Charlie, he gently laid his hand on her shoulder to pray for her. As he lifted his hand, it left behind a fine dusting of crumbs in the rough shape of his hand.

Christ comes to us in his body, through our ministry to one another, in the Bread and Wine, in quiet ways that we aren't always aware of. She turned and walked away, covered by the crumbs from his table.

A high-church sacramentalist would have been scandalized. They would never use a loaf of bread precisely because it crumbs so easily and pieces of it can fall and get lost or stepped on or . . . fall onto sweaters. A part of me even was a bit surprised. But mostly I felt the sweetness of God's grace and this very outward and visible sign of it.